I warned them. I did.

"Woe!" I cried. "Woe to those with the temerity to bring challenge! Since the days of eld, many have come forth, gallant and gay, to take the field against me. Woe unto them! For they have fallen, every one, vanquished and gone. Why seek you to join the dishonored and defeated? Turn back, seek other diversions than this futile striving!"

My opponents were not to be swayed. They produced a copy of Trivial Pursuit (20th Anniversary Edition) and offered battle.

Their defeat was utter and total, as I had predicted. As I strode from the field, perhaps a tear darkened my cheek; when would a worthy challenger at last lay me low, and end my ceaseless quest?

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