September 16, 2013

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do

Things I am not allowed to do while working for a multinational bank:

  1. No quotes from Karl Marx in my email signature block, even for internal emails.
  2. No quotes from Adam Smith either.
  3. Also no Latin mottos that are non-obvious. In fact, just use the default .sig.
  4. People from England get confused when told to press the "pound" key on their telephones. It took a moment to realize why.
  5. When a malfunctioning alarm panel calls 911 five times in a row, the police don't want to hear jokes.
  6. Any story that begins "So no shit, there I was, in..." shall be considered inappropriate for work.
  7. I will walk the extra 20 yards to the escalator that is already going the direction I want to go. I will not use my override to reverse the direction of the nearest escalator.
  8. Techniques used to calm freaking-out Marines are not to be used to calm freaking-out bank tellers.

Posted by: Boviate at 07:32 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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