I thought I'd share with you a little life lesson. I think most of you know it, but someone had to learn it last night.

When your opponent gets an armbar locked in, tap out.

Last night, I was on my compter, when I heard hooting and hollering outside. I went to my window to make sure I didn't have to go downstairs to break something up, and saw two guys grappling in the grass. A little observation convinced me it was a friendly match, so I went back to my computer.

Then the cheering suddenly stopped, and it got quiet in a way that I didn't like. I poked my head out and yelled "Everything OK?" The answer: "No! Get Doc!"

So I grabbed my roommate, the corpsman that lives in the barracks, and we trooped downstairs. The wrestling loser was pretty drunk and feeling little pain, so he refused to tap when the other guy got an armbar on. When I've got an armbar and my opponent doesn't tap, that tells me that I haven't tightened it down enough- so I pull harder. And harder. It hurts more and more, sooner or later they'll get the point. Only this idiot didn't.

So the idiot got his left shoulder dislocated. He and the crowd wanted Doc to just pop it back in, which is a bad idea. Doc dragged him to the ER, where they discovered that his scapula was no longer in the right place, so he ended up waiting for hours until a specialist could get there to put his internal structures back in the right place.

Because he was drunk as hell, the hospital resident wouldn't allow him to be given any anesthetics. As the hours went on and the booze wore off, this guy was in increasingly agonizing levels of pain.

FInally, for fear that they'd get in trouble, the parties involved decided to lie about the cause of the injury. There's an armwrestling contest going on today, so they claimed that he was practicing for that. I strongly urged them to just tell the truth, but was ignored. The results were just as I expected- a Marine shows up to the ER with his arm dislocated and claims it was an armwrestling accident, and the resident gets curious. Curious about why it was a left arm out of socket. And about why the armwrestler is covered with grass, almost as if he'd been rolling around on the ground. Curious about why the shoulder was dislocated laterally, while for armwrestling you'd expect a rotational injury.

And a little friendly grappling isn't something that'll get you in trouble anyway! Sure, you get hurt and can't work, your boss will yell at you. But now LCpl Dumbass and his buddy that backed him up as a witness, Cpl Dumbass, are both getting paperwork on filing a false report, and the duty NCO is getting paperwork on falsification of a logbook entry. Dumbasses, all of them.

Posted by: Boviate at 09:08 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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