October 11, 2013

More Things I Am Not Allowed To Do

9. The new access-control devices are "electronic turnstiles". They are not "murder machines".

10. When an electronic turnstile begins to cycle open and closed continually, the report should state that it is malfunctioning. It should not state that "the turnstile has gone feral, and has developed a taste for human flesh."

11. A desire for accurate paperwork is laudable. However, when receiving an injury report for "John Smith" only to discover that the actual injured party is named "Joan Smith", I should change the name on the paperwork. I should not instruct a security guard to find an employee named John and injure them.

12. An email to the Property Services Manager regarding flooding at a branch should have a subject like like "Flooding at the San Diego branch". It should not have a subject like "Gather the cattle and head for the hills!"

Posted by: Boviate at 11:39 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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